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I Would Like to Be a Dot in a Painting by Miro
by Moniza Alvi
I would like to be a dot in a painting by Miro.
Barely distinguishable from other dots,
it's true, but quite uniquely placed.
And from my dark centre
I'd survey the beauty of the linescape
and wonder -- would it be worthwhile
to roll myself towards the lemon stripe,
Centrally poised, and push my curves
against its edge, to give myself
a little attention?
But it's fine where I am.
I'll never make out what's going on
around me, and that's the joy of it.
The fact that I'm not a perfect circle
makes me more interesting in this world.
People will stare forever --
Even the most unemotional get excited.
So here I am, on the edge of animation,
a dream, a dance,a fantastic construction,
A child's adventure.
And nothing in this tawny sky
can get too close, or move too far away.
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So Who Am I?
Hey! I am Suraya. A 22 year old lass from this little rather insignificant dot on the map, Singapore. Was born and bred here. Would probably die here as well. Not that i like it that much just that i don t see myself getting out of this rut. I constantly yearn for love care and happiness. And yes, i do not like typing out commas. So commas are only typed out only when it s absolutely necessary and when i m in the mood for commas.
So what do i do for a living?
I teach. Teach in a neighbourhood secondary school. Well i teach art and english. However i wont be teaching for very much longer. I am on the verge of a losing my job. But that s another story all together.You ll soon discover my great passion for teaching once i resume with my "Daily Vomit".
What else is there to say?
Well i ve been lazy for most parts of my life and i get bored very easily.
I was born on 18 Oct 80. So yes, i m turning 23 in less than a mth. Quite scary actually. Watching the years whiz by.
Do i have a boyfriend?
Nope. I don't need men. Haha. That s quite funny really. The truth is, like most women i have a love-hate relationship with men.
So am i lesbian?
Well i rather wish i was lesbian. But as some of you wld already know, i do have issues with shoving my finger up a women's cunt or worst still going oral on her. Agh! But yes i like boobs and pretty girls.
My fave topics for conversations usually evolves ard the dispelling of gas both frm the anus and the mouth or even the nose(that s what i call a silent burp), shit(the excretion of bodily waste matter), sex(but that does not mean i wanna have sex with ya),love, life, death and art.
I like to listen to ppl talk abt books, films, life,love, death, art, philosophy, poetry, politics, music, sex, ex-gfs and yes oth ppl s miserable lives.
My fave colour is green.
I do not like watching movies that have happy endings(that rules out most movies), but yes i do secretly watch romantic crap on vcd when i am alone at home. I watch them over and over again. Year after year and cry at the same segment of the movie. But yes, when ppl ask me, do u like romantic movies,i wld say i hate em. Cos the shit u see on movies don t really happen in real life. Honestly, i m just being bitter. i know that. My most watched vcd wld be my best friend's wedding ( abt 60x), bridget jones (abt 30X)and notting hill (abt 10x). i enjoy art house films though but there arent many showing in singapore. and yes i honestly i do like to watch some lane slapstick no brainer films sometimes, like, dude where s my car. and yes i do watch porn sometimes.
So where do i see myself, 20 yrs frm now?
Few possibilities:
(1) Single,grumpy and still living with the parents, still teaching dim wits and very big afro hair with too many wrinkles on my face and trashy auntie clothes.Wld have slept with only 2 men in my lifetime.
(2) Single, wandering the world. Hippie look and hippie approach towards life. Old and does not realize it.Wld have slept with many men and women in my lifetime.
(3) A nun in a lil monastary in tibet. Clean shaven head. Grey robe and beads ard my neck. bounded breasts and feet. Wearing cotton drawstring ah pek underwear. Only have two words i nmy vocabulary "Om" or "Amitabha"
(4) Married to some loser i am not passionate abt. Bored. Unhappy. With problem kids. Poor sex life and blah blah. Too unexciting to describe.
(5) Married to a winner. Lady of leisure lifestyle. Can choose whether to shop paint or work. Lovely kids. Lovely home with a nice garden. Good sex life and still very much in love with the man i married. Haha. A bit far fetched.
Okie. I type to much. See how self absorbed i can be. Anyway. Wu-tang.
Wanna e-mail me?
constp8ed@hotmail.com
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